August 17, 2013 Leave a comment
I can’t believe it’s already the end of my last official summer, and nearly the beginning of my last year of undergraduate. It’s cliche, but I so clearly remember first arriving on The Commons and feeling overwhelmed with excitement and nervousness from the new environment and the possibilities “college” (especially one out of state) represented. I felt similar feelings upon arriving in Glasgow last fall. A very particular spirit of joviality characterized my first two weeks in Glasgow, where every sight, sound, and scent was foreign and exciting. I’ll never forget how I felt those two weeks: it was the feeling that I could begin fresh because no one knew me or had any preconceptions about me (except the fact I was American I guess), and the city was mine to explore.
My senior year will be special, I know it. But I can’t disregard the fact that I probably have a sort of reputation on campus. That makes it sound so dramatic, and I don’t mean for it to, but a reputation is a reputation whether good or bad. And when said reputation makes me feel frustrated, angry, and oftentimes sad, it’s a burden to live with it. I’m different since I entered college my freshman year because my views on so many subjects have changed, and because I truly believe I’ve become much more tolerant and open-minded. The many changes in environments throughout the past three years (Nashville, Shanghai, Glasgow) I’ve experienced allowed me to meet many people who lead different lifestyles and hold different beliefs. It’s been a blessing, no doubt, but it has also exposed me to the less innocent parts of life and growing up and I could not be more thankful.
I think it’s appropriate to say I was quite naive entering into college. I’m less so now, but it’d be a joke to call me fully mature. As Britney said, “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman”.
I’m terrible at blog-writing, but what I’ve been trying to get to in this post is that after this next year, I’m excited for something new. I would strongly dislike staying in Nashville or returning to Austin because the people I know and community I have in those two cities have an image of me that I’d like to shed. I’m not saying they’re not representative of some part of me whether in the past or present, but I’d like to get away. Which brings me to the next point…
Many times when I think about my ~problems~ and what to do to resolve them I feel like I’m often copping out by running away in a certain sense. I’m not going to elaborate on this because it’s a bit complicated.
I can’t wait to travel and explore and have many adventures around the globe after this year is over. And as always, I’m incredibly grateful to my parents for aways supporting me and loving me even if it’s in ways I can’t understand (Asian American problems).